


And Now I'm Stuck Here

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Series: You Know I'm A Dreamer [2]
Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Past Domestic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27518737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Emma and Nikki have a talk.
Relationships: Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: You Know I'm A Dreamer [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004484
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	And Now I'm Stuck Here

**One Week Later**

\-----

With a piercing cry, Nikki lurched toward, breathless and fearful, with his heart hammering against his ribcage and fear still creeping through his veins like a twisted poison. 

Sweat ran down his face, and Nikki found it hard to breathe in his panic as it coursed through his body like water. He raised his hand and dragged it through his tangled hair, trying to find sense and peace, even as the remembrance of that single night flashed through his mind and eyes. 

"Damn it." He whispered, shutting his eyes tightly against the wave of memories that were produced by that nightmare. Nikki felt himself shiver uncontrollably despite how uncomfortably hot the room was. The air conditioner had conked out again, leaving the apartment hot and stuffy. Nikki untangled his legs from the thin blanket he'd been using, and stood up. 

Every night since everything had happened, Nikki had been having nightmares about Blackie - about him coming for Nikki, and finishing what he'd undoubtedly started. In the dreams, Blackie would kill Tommy and Emma in front of Nikki by torturing them until they bled out in a pool of agony, and then he would turn his knife on Nikki. 

The dreams left Nikki restless and exhausted, but he would be unable to fall back asleep with the lingering memories in his head. Blackie was in jail, and unless a nonexistent family member or friend were to bail him out, then that's where he would stay. 

But, sometimes, Nikki heard the floorboards creak, or he saw shadows move out of the corner of his eye, and he would panic about imaginary hands grabbing his arms and slamming him back into the wall. He didn't like how the imaginary portrayed him, but there wasn't much that could be done. 

For the last week, Nikki had been sleeping on the couch, curled up with his legs dangling over the side uncomfortably, but it was better than a grave. The apartment was now his home, because Nikki didn't want to return to the home he had once shared with Blackie. 

The name made Nikki shiver in the aftereffects of fear. 

Tommy was asleep at the table, his head cushioned on his arms, a cold cup of coffee on the table in front of him. His eyebrows were furrowed deeply toward his eyes in a distinct shoe of troubled sleep, and there was something different about him that suggested that the past week had aged him significantly. Nikki felt terrible about involving him in the whole mess - he could've just gone and laid low for awhile, and not had to have dragged his friends into it. 

But then Nikki was reminded of everything, raising his hand to lightly graze the splint that'd been placed on his nose while it healed. He was reminded of it by the ache in his body that lingered even after a week. The hospital was a place full of bad memories, and the past week only served to signify that. Nikki didn't like the hospital, which smell like too many cleaners and was too bright with too many people. 

Luckily, nothing majorly had been wrong. A broken nose, lots of bruises, several cuts, and a mild concussion. Nikki should've been glad that nothing was particularly serious, but he'd rather have to deal with a serious injury than the mental turmoil that was going through his head on a constant basis. 

"Why are you awake?" A sudden voice asked from behind, and Nikki nearly had a heart attack as he whirled around to see who had suddenly come behind him. A small part of him thought about Blackie, and how he could move so fast, like a large predator. 

It was just Emma, but that didn't assuage those fears, lingering deep below the threshold, threatening to spill forth. 

Hurriedly putting her hands up, Emma looked quite apologetic. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She said softly, her eyes flicking over to Tommy, who was dead to the world in all ways except literal. 

Nikki carefully avoided those eyes that seemed to know everything. "Don't worry about it." He mumbled. 

There was a certain level of anxiety that was lingering around everybody, no matter how much time had passed. Tommy seemed very tense, always looking out the windows, as if expecting to see Blackie climbing those stairs. 

Even though Tommy hadn't told anybody, Nikki knew that his friend had bought a gun and gotten a permit for it. He hadn't mentioned it, but he could see it - there had never been a time where Tommy was good at keeping secrets, especially ones of such large magnitude. 

"He never falls asleep in bed anymore." Emma said, looking at Tommy in an attempt to look angry, but she was smiling. Reaching out, Emma rested her hand on the back of Tommy's neck, gently grazing his skin. 

Nikki tried to ignore the implications of such a statement, deceptively innocuous as it may have been. "I'm sorry for coming here." He said, genuinely, but having to force the words out. Nikki had never been good with apologies, but this one had been needed. He had, after all, disrupted their lives, and left them perpetually afraid as consequence. 

Emma shook her head. "No. Don't apologize for that shit." She said. "Don't apologize for needing help, Nikki. That's what separates you and me - I know that no matter how much he may bitch and whine over it, Tommy would do anything for the people that he loves. He could've just not answered your call, but he did, and I know that he would've much rather had to deal with this than the alternative." 

In the recent years, Emma's punk rock look had slowly begun to vanish. Her dyed red hair was fading back to its original black, and she'd stopped wearing all of that godawful makeup, rendering her to forever look more like somebody who was, well- _normal,_ than somebody who was dating Tommy. 

But a blind man could've seen the love, the devotion, the affection. They were like a match made in hell, and their happiness together was clear to see. 

Nikki loved it because that meant his best friend was happy, and hated it because he would never have that. Oh, how he pretended like it didn't bother him, and it didn't, really, but in the dead of night, it became strangely apparent that Nikkei as destined to either be alone, or stuck with people that didn't give a damn about him or his feelings or any of that sappy shit. 

"Yeah. But I shouldn't have endangered you guys." Nikki began to pull at a loose string on his shirt, tugging and pulling restlessly. 

Emma made an incredulous noise. "Oh, don't be like that. Tommy and I are both glad that you came to us." She reached over, and her fingers managed to barely skim Nikki's hand. "What happened was inexcusable. And I know what you're thinking, Nikki. That you could've fought harder. And truth is - you couldn't have."

Nikki bit his bottom lip. "Yes, I could've." He whispered. 

"No. Blackie's too strong, he would've been able to kill you. And he almost did, certainly. You did what you had to do, and that was enough, hon. He's in jail, now, and you're here. That's all that matters." 

Was that the truth? Could Nikki have done more? He didn't know, and he already had a headache, so he didn't want to think to hard about what he could've done that night. 

Emma started to drag her nails along the table, making a scratching noise. She evidently didn't know what to say - none of them did. They were all just meandering along, hoping for the best, but expecting the absolute worst, and who could blame them? After everything that had happened, they were still on the edge, teetering with disaster. 

They were only going through the motions. 

With a small groan, Tommy stirred, but he remained sleeping, eyes shut as he adjusted position. 

"I was in a similar position before I met Tommy." Emma confessed. 

Nikki couldn't help his smirk. "Looks like Tommy's stuck with two freaks, then." He said with a nonchalance that sounded too forced to be real. Nikki resisted the urge to yawn and turned around, shuffling back over to the couch, which served as his temporary bed until other living arrangements could be made. 

Slowly, with his new and old aches still appearing in the most terrible places, and with the knowledge of so many things weighing down upon him, Nikki lay back down. He cushioned and inclined his head, and watched Emma looked down at him with eyes that seemed to see all, know all. 

"Goodnight." Emma said. 

Nikki nodded, and he crossed his arms over his chest, closing his eyes to the knowledge that not everything was okay, but that Blackie was in jail, and as long as he was there, then Nikki could breathe, and fall into a troubled sleep. 


End file.
